Turnabout Humor
by dotbattyman
Summary: What happened to Phoenix between T&T an Apollo Justice? Series of comedy-centered stories of Phoenix's everyday life. Chapter 2 is up.
1. Turnabout Slumber

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Ace Attorney Series or any of its characters. All elements belong to Capcom.

Hey, fanfic viewers! I decided I would try to write some comedy fanfics about one of my favorite games. I'm not sure it will be as good as I hope it will be, considering this is my first fanfic, but I hope you enjoy it!

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_Ugh, my aching head..._

Phoenix just got back to his apartment from another case in his favor. He had a splitting headache due to the judge taking a certain "interest" in the new prosecutor. Phoenix agreed that she was gorgeous, but whenever that man becomes attracted to people trying to get his client a "Guilty" verdict, his life becomes a living hell.

"Hey, Nick!" Maya shouted, making Phoenix jump. It looks like his plan of going straight to bed isn't gonna happen! "Yeah?"

"What took you so long to get here?"

"The train wasn't working, so I had to walk home."

"Well, you came just in time! Where's the remote?"

"Um, it's not on the couch?"

"No. There's gonna be a new episode of The Pink Princess tonight, and I can't find it!"

"Why don't you just walk over to the TV and change the channel?"

"Wait, you can do that?"

"You didn't know?"

"I always used the remote to change it. Now, how the heck do you change the channel on this thing?"

"Use the channel buttons."

"Oh, I get it. Thanks, Nick!"

As soon as Maya turned around, however, Phoenix was already out of the room, heading toward his own. "Maybe I can get some sleep before tomo-"

"**MR. NICK! HOW COULD YOU!**"

Oh, dear. What did he do this time? "Oh, hey, Pearls. It 2:00 in the morning. How come you're still up?"

"I HEARD THAT YOU GAVE MS. MICHEALS A PASSIONATE HUG!" Pearl shouts, ignoring Phoenix's query.

_Where in this world does she get her information? _Phoenix wonders if he's being stalked sometimes. "She was just thanking me for clearing her na-"

***SLAP***

"Mystic Maya doesn't want excuses, Mr. Nick! She wants an apology!"

Phoenix was about to object, but he noticed that Pearl had her hand up, prepared to strike again. "I'm going, I'm going!"

_Geez, those hands are worse than Franziska's whip._ People who say it's sad to get beat up and bossed around by a 9 year old have obviously not felt the wrath of Pearl.

"Maya," Phoenix began, "Pretend that I just apolog-"

"This is awesome!" Maya shouted with her fists in the air, socking Phoenix in the face. Will he ever get to finish a sentence today?

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When Phoenix regained consciousness, he was in a hospital bed. _Hey, this might not be so bad. Sure, I can't feel my face, but now I can finally get som-_

***knock knock knock***

Oh, come on! Getting interrupted while speaking is one thing, but not being able to have a complete thought is a different story.

Maya went through the door and sat in the chair next to his bed. "I'm sorry for punching you, Nick. I got really excited and threw my arms in the air."

"I'm well aware."

"Speaking of The Pink Princess, It wasn't over when we took you to the hospital."

"Heh. I'm surprised you didn't wait for the show to be over before you took me.

_"_I was going to do that, actually."

"Huh?"

"Well, I WAS, but Pearly insisted that we go right away."

"Oh." _Gee, THANKS Maya!_

"So, I came in here to finish watching it! Sorry to barge in like this, Nick, but I HAVE to see what happens next!" Maya turned on the TV and cranked the volume up as high as it would go.

A few minutes later, a nurse went into the room and turned the TV off. "Sorry, ma'am, but people have been complaining about a lot of noise in here."

"Sorry about that," Maya says. "I'll just turn the volume down and keep watching, if you don't mind."

"Oh, they weren't complaining about the TV. They were complaining about you screaming at it."

Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle. Maya must have noticed it, because she turned around and glared at him.

"Well, as long as I'm here, I'll just give you the bill, Mr. Wright."

The nurse hands Phoenix the bill, which he reads with a shocked face. He didn't feel like sleeping anymore-he's too worried about the nightmares he's going to have!

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**I know, it's kinda small, but I did that on purpose to see if anyone liked my style of comedy before I went all out. Sorry if everybody seems OOC in this chapter. I'm going to work on that.**

**R&R, please. Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read!**


	2. Turnabout Bandage

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Ace Attorney Series or any of its characters. If I did, I would be shopping at every store like they were having a 99% off sale! All elements belong to Capcom.

**Blue Deity: **Thanks. That story of yours with Phoenix's dream in court is one of my favorite fanfics on this site.

**PXLight:** Heh. Thank you. Maybe this one won't be as corny.

**Liza:** You speak English excellently for a German. Thanks for the review!

Apparently, I have a little too much time on my hands. Here comes chapter two, with Gumshoe's POV.

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Poor Gumshoe. His day was going absolutely horrible so far. He got a pay deduction for falling on the murder weapon, (P_ainful. So painful._) a pay deduction for breaking the dancing Blue Badger, (_I'm the one who BUILT the thing!_) a pay deduction for angering a witness, (_All_ _I did was ask him for his name, and he kicked me in my shin!_) and even for mentioning his own name! (_According to the new chief, it's "not appropriate to state a name like that while eating lunch"._) At this rate, I'll have to give THEM money on payday! Why can't Phoenix take this case? He's **needs** someone to talk to!

Just then, someone came through the door. It was Phoenix and Maya!

"Hey! How are ya doing, Pal?" Gumshoe said as calm as he could to prevent from sounding excited at the sight of his rival.

"Hey, Gumshoe!" Maya shouted at him. _At least she's in a good mood._

"So, I'm guessing you're taking Mr. McDonald's case?"

"Why else would be be here?" Phoenix said, not changing his expression at all. He noticed that he was staring at his bandage again, so he turned his head so he couldn't see it.

"Well, don't think you're getting any info from me, pal. I haven't found anything of interest yet."

Suddenly, Maya made a strange face at the detective. "Hey Gumshoe, what's with that bandage?"

"Huh?"

"Come to think of it, he HAS had that on ever since I met him," Phoenix says. "Why is that?"

"It's a long story, pal."

"We don't mind," Maya says ever so cheerfully. "Tell us, tell us!"

"Well, it all started with my first case..."_

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Alright! My first day on the job! I'm gonna make a good first impression! I just know it!_

When Gumshoe got to the police department, however, he injured the chief's nose when he opened the door.

"**YOWCH! Watch it! **This is your first day, Gumsock! Don't make me deduct your pay!"

"No! Please Don't!"

"Fine. Since it's your first day, I'll let you off with a warning. Do something like that again, however, and I'll-"

"Don't worry, pal! You'll never ever even think about deduct my pay again!" Oh, how wrong he was!

"Also, don't call me "pal". Call me "sir"."

"Yes, sir!"

"Now, come inside. We'll see if we have something for you."

Gumshoe did as he was told and stopped in front of the chief's desk.

"So, what made you want to join the police force, Gumsock?"

"Uh, it's "Gumshoe", pa-uh, sir. Actually, I wanted to become a pilot up until three months ago."

"What happened?"

"Well it all started when I first got my wings..."_

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Damn, I crashed the plane!_

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"...That's it?"

"Yeah. They took away my wings after that incident."

"Sorry to hear that... Anyway, since this is your first day, we'll give you something easy. There's a witness at this address. He refuses to admit he witnessed anything, but we have the evidence to prove he did. Just show this to him and bring him back." The chief gave him a piece of paper with the address on it and a photo."

"Yes, sir!" Gumshoe says excitedly.

"Wait, before you go," the chief says, "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"What does "Gumshoe" mean?"

"Huh?"

"Gumshoe. What does it mean?"

"Um, it doesn't mean anything.."

"Why did your parents give you a name like that, then?"

"You can't choose your last name, sir..."

"Wait, that's your last name?"

"Uh, yes..."

"Then what's your first name?"

"Dick."

"..."

"Um, sir?"

"**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**"

"H-Hey!"

Gumshoe decided to go to that address after he realized the man wouldn't be done laughing for a while.

After a few hours on a train, he made it to the witness's house. He knocked on the door and went inside. There was a guy and a scary-looking dog there.

"Who are you?" The man says.

"Dick Gumshoe of the police force. Are you the witness?"

"For the last time, **I AM NOT A WITNESS!**"

"This security photo says otherwise, pal." Gumshoe hands him the photo.

"I see...alright, you caught me. I'll go. What was your name again?"

"Dick Gumshoe."

"I'll make sure to give you credit for your amazing detective work."

"Well, actually, I was just told to come here and give this to you, pal."

"Oh...well, thanks for taking the time to come..."

"Um, you're welcome?"**

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Phoenix's POV**

"The End," Gumshoe said happily.

"Wait a minute," Phoenix says. "That doesn't explain the bandage on your face."

"Oh, uh...the guy cut my face with a knife when I accused him of being a witness. True story, pal."

Just then, 5 Psyche-Locks...no, 6...7...10 of them appeared in front if Gumshoe!

_Oh, COME ON!_

"What's wrong, Nick?" Maya whispers to Phoenix.

"I see 10 Psyche-Locks on his heart! 10!"

"Well, unlock them!"

"I don't even have any evidence!"

"Well, guess the truth!"

"Guess the truth?"

"Yeah. You do it in court. Why can't you do it now?"

"Um, okay."

"Something wrong, pal?" Gumshoe says as Phoenix pulls the Magatama out of his pocket.

**TAKE THAT!**

The Psyche-Locks came out again, ready to be broken.

"Alright, I'm just gonna guess," Phoenix says sheepishly. "You cut yourself and put a bandage over the wound, but got scared that it would hurt when you pulled it off. Thus, you never did."

"..."

Suddenly, all of the Psyche-Locks broke. _I-I can't believe that worked...!_

"So," Maya began, "you still have that bandage because you..."

"S-Shut up!"**

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There you go! A bit fluffier than I thought it would be, but I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review!**


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